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Episode 78 Summary

A Chat with The Queen 

Join Dr Lucy as she chats with one her mentors Emma McQueen. Emma taught Dr Lucy and Dr Mary so many things that they now incorporate into their lives as thriving women!

Emma McQueen is a business coach, an author and runs a wonderful program empowering female business owners.  Dr Lucy and Emma chat about many of the things people need do in business are also the things we need to lose weight and live a happy and healthy life. Emma has been the inspiration for Dr Lucy’s fabulous fancy tea cup addiction! Emma gives some wonderful tips on mindset, meditation and habit formation. She has a fabulous book called Go-getter where she busts some myths that women believe about themselves….(Hello perfectionism!)

You can find more about Emma here -  https://www.emmamcqueen.com.au/

You can purchase Emma's book here -  https://www.audible.com.au/pd/Go-Getter-Audiobook/B09SBRHXVC

Show notes:

A Chat with the Queen

Dr Mary Barson 

Hello, my lovely listeners. I'm Dr. Mary Barson.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

And I'm Dr. Lucy burns. Welcome to this episode of real health and weight loss. Good morning, lovely listeners. It's Dr. Lucy here this morning. And I am without my beautiful colleague, Dr. Mary, but instead have the most wonderful guests today who I'm sure will be delivering us various pearls of wisdom. I'm going to introduce to you somebody who I have learned a lot of now, as you know, Mary, and I often talk about the fact that we didn't know very much about business. When we first started, we knew a lot about doctoring, a lot about health, a lot about weight loss, nothing about business, so we sought professional advice. So today, I am thrilled to have on to our podcast, our business coach, the gorgeous, Emma McQueen. Welcome, Emma.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Thank you so much for the beautiful introduction.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

It's easy, because it was completely genuine. And when it's genuine, you don't even need to script it, you can just bang out from your heart.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Why am I not surprised that you do not script.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

I know Emma! When we first met Emma, she knew that we are very good at winging it. And it is wonderful. But you do need to have a few systems in place, as Emma helped us see. So I think that, as I mentioned, beautiful listeners, it is important in life that if there's areas in which you're not, you know, you don't have all your skills, it's not your genius zone that you do seek some help from somebody who's qualified. So you know, you can go I mean, we could have gone and got business advice off, you know, somebody from Instagram, but you've got to really kind of trust the person that you're working with. And so for us, that was trusting Emma, and part of it is that many of the things that we talk to you about are things that Emma talks to her people about too, so I would love for you to be talking to us a little bit about some of your pillars, just around kindness and gratitude and how they came about for you.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, beautiful. I love that. I think that you already have a set of values, right? It's intrinsic to you. And when you start a business, and when I started my business, I was like, What do I want to be known for? And look, I'm very pink, as you know, and I love pink. And everyone's like, oh, your branding is amazing. Like, look, I just like pink. But one thing we did want to do is we wanted to show generosity where we could. We wanted to show kindness where it made sense. And we wanted to practice gratitude. There are three things that I think you can tell me loose, but that we weave into everything that we do at Team McQueen. And it out works super differently for different people as well. So for instance, generosity, I get a lot of people who do the whole, can I just pick your brain? That's your question. And I am more than happy to help because I just think it doesn't cost much to be generous and to be kind. So those pillars work out in three really different ways. But I think you would have been the recipient of some of that advice before working together. So maybe you tell your listeners what you thought.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Oh, absolutely. And this is exactly what I said to Em. Well, I messaged her a couple of times, I had heard of her through a mutual acquaintance, who is Fi Mims, who is in fact a beautiful brand photographer. So for those of you who have seen our website, or our socials, the wonderful photos were taken by Fi and I knew that Fi knew Emma. So this is where I think trust comes in. I trusted Fi therefore I trusted Emma. And anybody Em has recommended to us, you know, I trust them as well. So I asked Em a couple of questions before I really knew her. And she was so generous with her advice and responses that that made me go, oh my god, I love this girl. I've got to work with her. And so I found that really helpful. And I think that hopefully, you know, Mary and I have a similar ethos because we are the same. I think that it's really important that you help people like you're in service first. And then people go yeah, I love them. I want to work with them.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, absolutely. That's how it goes, isn't it? I mean, I think that everyone forgets that generosity should be the first thing you are selling. You know, everyone goes straight in to sell. And I'm like, oh, have you developed a relationship? Have you been generous back? Have you given back before you've asked anything? You know, like, it's just common sense to me, I think. But I think it doesn't cost much to be generous, especially to other women in business especially.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah, absolutely. And one of my favorite sayings, which is not my quote, but a quote that I love banging on about is that a rising tide lifts all boats. And I think it's helpful, you know, in any aspect of life, which is part of why community is so important. And Emma has a wonderful community, tell them in the name of your community, and because it's brilliant,

 

Emma McQueeen 

I know, my community is thriving women, because doesn't everyone want to thrive?

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Absolutely, absolutely. And I think, you know, building a community, it's really important in both business in, in health in weight loss in anything, because people who feel lonely and isolated get stuck in their head sometimes.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, totally, especially now, you know, we've had this pandemic and there was already a loneliness epidemic before the other pandemic happened. And now, it's just as it's more magnified, right? If you don't have a community of people, you really see people's mental health shift.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yes, absolutely. It's really interesting. I was talking to another person the other day she wanted to know about business. And somehow we got talking about weight loss or governance, why not? Bad or anything? But we did talk a little bit about some of the similarities in that you do need to have some expert advice. You did it with a community. And you need  somebody to be your cheerleader. Yeah, yeah. And I'd love your thoughts Em on why cheerleading is so helpful.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Oh, my goodness, cheerleading so helpful, because we as women don't talk to ourselves that nicely. So you know, that old impostor syndrome, inner critic kind of gets in the way. And sometimes having a cheerleader balances that out when we can't balance it out ourselves. And having a community of people also means accountability, right. So I did a coaching group yesterday, there was five of us. And I said, how did you go last month, etc, etc. And one of the ladies said that, yep, I did my things. And I looked at it. I did them this morning, because I knew you were going to ask, it's all about accountability and community. But if you can do that in a nice way, then that all kind of works out for people. And I think, the cheerleading sometimes I get the comment that I almost hold faith that someone's going to do well, before they do well. And that's the nicest compliment you can get as a business coach, actually, because, you know, you have the faith that they can do what they just don't see their own brilliance, and then you hold the space, and then they catch up, and they're like, Okay, I'm here. And I'm like, great, I've been holding this space for you. And that cheerleading is so important for women in business.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Absolutely. And yeah, Em, I'm sure you've seen many transformations of women that perhaps came in with, you know, self doubt, that nasty inner critic that will tell them they're not good enough. They haven't done enough. They haven't studied enough, they haven't, you know, they're not pretty enough. You know, they're too young. They're too old. They're too skinny. They're too fat. All the toos. It sucks. And sometimes you just need lots of cheerleading to balance that out. Absolutely. It's kind of what we find in the community. Yeah, beautiful. I love that. We're in thriving women thriving our little hearts out.

 

Emma McQueeen 

You did thrive your little hearts out, just saying!

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Well, part of it was also that, you know, it's interesting, sometimes, you know, we get asked to do something. So this isn't just me, this is anybody, you get asked to by somebody to do something, and you kind of have two options, you can say go get stuffed, I'm not doing that. Or Okay, I'll give that a crack. And the thing that determines, for me anyway, which response you give depends, again, on your relationship with the person who's doing the asking. So if you trust and value that person, and they go, try this, you go, Okay, I'm gonna give it a crack. For us. That was what was so important. Because yeah, if we didn't value you, or didn't like you, and you'd said, try this? I don't think so. So it just makes a big difference to actually be trusting the person. And I think that goes back to that thing that you were saying, therefore, with generosity, your people do learn to trust you.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yes. And it's interesting, because we're having a chat in thriving women. The other day, this year is thriving women cohort about how they're doing business with each other, but not in that kind of icky way. You have to refer business to each other. And then someone said, and no one asks for a discount. And I thought to myself, of course, no one asked for a discount, we're thriving women. It's all about valuing yourself, don't promote, for asking for a discount. That's just not my thing. And it made me really reflect actually, as a leader in thriving women. They're taking their cue from me, you can work with someone if it makes sense. Just don't ask for a discount, because that's not cool. Because that's actually not women supporting women. And so it was a bit of a revelation for me because I'm like, I just made the assumption. Of course, that's the way it is because that's the way I am.  Right. And you'd be the same in your community. People are watching everything that you do. And role modeling that.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah, absolutely. Every now and then, when I rock up on Facebook live with, you know, wet hair, I think, oh, and then I think you know, it doesn't matter. I'm not perfect. There's no way to be perfect. Now, one of the other things that was segwaying into something within that thriving women community that I then almost forgot, which was our grateful Fridays. So talk to us a bit about that Ems.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yes, well, grateful Fridays is a very important part of my life in general. And actually how it started was around the meal table, we have run a competition. So I have three daughters and a husband and we run a competition, it's who can get their butt on the seat first. And the person that yells out best part grateful part gets to choose the person that goes first. And the competition is tell us what the best part of your day is. Tell us what you're grateful for, and tell us the kind thing that you did for someone else today. And obviously, that's a bit long to do in kind of a video or in thriving women or whatever. But I really wanted the gratitude practice or the gratitude pillar to remain in thriving women. And so grateful Friday was all about like, just take a moment to be present and go actually, what am I grateful for today, I also have my own gratitude practice, which is when I go to sleep at night, before I go to sleep, I think about three things I'm grateful for. And I do that again, when I wake up in the morning, because I think gratitude just has this beautiful way of making you get present. And it makes you one be grateful. But also, even if it's for the smallest thing, you know, you can be grateful for sunshine, if you seen a beautiful butterfly, you know, like, there are just so many things to be grateful for. And it's, you know, goes to the abundance mindset a bit of woowoo. But I also think, if you're not grateful, what are you? What's the opposite of grateful?

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah, absolutley. Yeah.

 

Emma McQueeen 

I'd like to know, the opposite of grateful now that I've said, Yeah, I'm grateful. Ungrateful. Yeah, but ungrateful, then it's so negative, isn't it? Isn't it? And does anyone want to be around an ungrateful person? I don't think so. Grateful Fridays have been really good. And it has forced all of us to stop and go, what are you grateful for? Even in a pandemic, even when stuff is going badly? You can always take a minute to go, Okay, what am I actually grateful for? And so I love it, and everyone loved it really didn't they.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Totally and I think, you know, when you first do it, you feel like a bit of a twat, you know, just getting on and saying I'm grateful for and you know, so you know, I'd be that guy I want to be grateful for I'd have to kind of wrack my brains, it felt a little kind of awkward, a bit uncomfortable. It's not something I'm used to. And it's like, really, I don't really want to do this. And there was resistance, which I think is also normal when we're developing new skills. But after a while, it started to be that thing where right had in my head. Something had happened on Tuesday, anything. Okay? And I'd write it down so that I could share it on Friday. Yeah, It makes you become more present. And it makes you almost, you know, how they say to parents look for the good, don't look for the bad because you find that if you look for the bad, you'll find the bad. And if you look for the good, you'll find that good. So it almost makes you go, Okay, we're gonna look for the good, where's the good, and then you see more good. And you just and then it becomes super easy, because you're like, Oh, I'm grateful for this. And this and this sweet. Yeah, absolutely. In fact, that reminds me a little bit of that concept about the gap. You know, when people focus on the they've got a goal they're aiming for, and they may fall short of that goal by a certain amount. And again, this can be any sorts of goals, and then you focus on the gap the bit that you failed, not the bit that you achieved.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Oh, and as women in business, we do that all the time, just as women in general, actually. Well, yeah, we achieved that almost. Actually, we hit the goal. We were just, you know, there's some bits that we didn't know. And we jumped over those bits.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah, absolutely. I think it's so interesting, isn't it? How we do get programmed to look for the gap, like the failure, look for the bit that we haven't quite measured up, you know, and so many people will come and say, oh, yeah, you know, I've lost 20 pounds or 15 kilos, but I still need to lose more and more. And it's like, just stop with the but. And just acknowledge your win. Yeah, full stop.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, I've lost this much weight.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I've reversed my fatty liver and they'll go Oh, yeah, but I still got a bit more Yeah no no, stop just

 

Emma McQueeen 

That must be tough. I can imagine you doing that. It reminds me a lot. You know, I'm of the vintage that they used to have a cane at school, you know, where they used to wrap across the room. Like Stop, stop. Just Yes. It's good.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

To start yet don't need to qualify it. No need to say yeah, but I've still got a, no just accept a win.

 

Emma McQueeen 

But is that a human thing where we're like, always striving so we don't stop and just celebrate that small win. I

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

It could be I think, certainly a female thing. Women in particular, I think tend to and maybe a perfectionist thing as well, perfectionists will say look because it wasn't perfect, therefore it was rubbish. We talk a lot about that in people's eating styles is that they're eating perfectly, you know weighing, measuring, counting all the things or they're just on a bender. All or nothing. Yeah. And that happens in business too, I reckon.

 

Emma McQueeen 

I reckon too and interestingly, the All or Nothing needs to reframe, because if you're all or nothing, it means you fail constantly. And who wants to do that? That sucks. So it's almost like, Okay, well, I'm going to do X, Y, and Z. It's almost like dropping your expectations. I'm going to be mediocre at this. And that's okay. You know, like resetting it so that you don't have to sit there and be perfect, especially when you haven't done it before.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Absolutely. A bit like us learning to be grateful, you know, saying our grateful things. How weird it felt. So yeah, learning new things is hard. And if you expect that you're going to make a few mistakes. Well, that's good. Because then when they come along, you got a good. That's one mistake down. When's the next mistake? Good. Done. Excellent.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, yeah, that's like my 100 no challenges. So I've got a group of students that I mentor, and they have to get 100 rejections on the phone.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Ah,

 

Emma McQueeen 

So challenge isn't to get sales. The challenge is to get 100 objections. No one's got their closest we've got to is 89. Wow, I know who's got there. So it's like reframing the brain. I'm just making it a bit of a hack and making it a bit fun, you know, now and be playful. I'm like, Yeah, but what would happen if we got 100 rejections? Like, how much would it hurt by the time you get to the 100? And they report after about 50 doesn't hurt?

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah, yeah. And I think that's absolutely right. Isn't it that idea that if you when you get used to feeling that uncomfortable feeling, the more you feel it? Well, then it becomes just a normal feeling?

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, that's exactly right. Totally. It's like riding a bike, isn't it?

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Correct. Now, the other thing I know that you've incorporated into your life is meditation. So talk to us about that. When How long have you been meditating? And when? And why did you start?

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah good questions. I've always been an on and off meditator. So let me start there. I've got a very busy brain. And so I just did it on off for probably five years. And then about two years ago, maybe three years ago, I went, you know what, I wonder whether meditation could be game changing if I allowed it to. And it didn't feel like it was a very hard thing to wrap my head around. And so I just started with some small, like, five minutes to start with, and then 10 minutes because I don't know anyone that goes, Oh, I haven't meditated. So I'm gonna meditate for an hour.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

I know, I know.

 

Emma McQueeen 

That's setting yourself up to fail. But the other thing about meditation for me is I like guided meditations. And it was a way of me grounding myself. And the time of day was important to me. So I decided to do it at the beginning of the day before the family was up. Because I hear so many women in particular say that they don't get any me time. And if you leave stuff to the end of the day, you never get that me time or you give up sleep for that me time. And that me time turns into a social media rabbit hole, right? So I went okay, I'm going to be deliberate about this. So I got up a bit earlier, and I made a cup of tea because you know, I love my cups of tea, as do you now.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

I know. And for those of you who have been playing along at home, and you know, I've been banging on about my fancy cups, I have to absolutely thank you, Emma, for introducing me to the fancy cup. I can't believe I didn't put that in my introduction because I know we're banging on a bit about thriving women. But when we joined thriving women, we got the most wonderful like amazing sort of goodie bag, hand delivered. And it was my very first fancy tea cup and saucer. So when I'm destitute on the streets, because I've spent all my money on tea cups, I can hold you to account.

 

Emma McQueeen 

I love your tea cups. I love watching them on stories. I love watching them on Instagram and I love knowing that I converted you to a great because doesn't tea tastes better and it could take up

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

To the ridiculous point and it's not I don't think it's ridiculous to the point where I can only drink tea in a fancy cup and coffee cannot go in my teacup. That's ridiculous.

 

Emma McQueeen 

No coffee never goes into that. Tell me what happens if you're out and about you take your own tea cup.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

I have been known to have certainly be no two we've certainly and we've just bought a new caravan and in that whilst we've got sort of, you know, non breakable plates and other things, I have bought two special fancy tea cups that are all wrapped up just for the van.

 

Emma McQueeen 

There you go. I've got another thriving woman who brings her teacup everywhere. Yeah, on retreats to workshops, she brings it everywhere. She just likes drinking out of it and who's to blame it anyway. So I make myself a beautiful cup of tea and normally the dog sits on my lap. I have a little maltese it's not a big deal. And I meditate for somewhere now somewhere for 20 to 30 minutes when I first started, it was like, almost as long as the cup of tea stayed hot. And as the time has gone, and then a year in, I was like, Alright, how do I help my ante on this. And so I decided to do an hour of meditation, but not at the same time. So I might do 3 x 20 minute bits across the course of the day, or I might do two halves, or if I'm really feeling fancy, I'll do an hour. But what it's done for me, I think it is game changing, I think is life changing. I kind of feel I mean, it's so cliche, but I do feel grounded when I finished my meditation in the morning. And I know that I can take some time during the middle of the day, if I need to five minutes, 10 minutes to do some more meditation. And it just, I'm sure there's a doctor way of looking at this, but it it lowers your stress levels. Because I don't know why. Maybe you can tell me, but it lowers your stress levels. And it also just brings you back to is it really that bad? And I think that's the thing for me, the mindfulness, the meditation, the gratitude, the kindness, they all now go hand in hand. Like I can't do one without the other. It's kind of like a jigsaw puzzle. But is that what happens when meditation happens?

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah, absolutely. So meditation has lots of physiological benefits on the body. So, you know, whilst it's sort of a brain activity, it then talks to our you know, our brains and our bodies are actually connected who who knew. And so the physiological response of reducing your cortisol in particular, happens when we meditate, it has lots of physiological benefits. So it reduces your blood sugar. It reduces your cortisol levels, it makes your platelets less sticky. See platelets become sticky with stress. And the reason for that is again, if in the olden days when we were stressed, it's because we were running from a predator. And so if the predator gored you, you know, this would help you hopefully stop bleeding to death.

 

Emma McQueeen 

But wow, I didn't know Yeah, sticky blood thing.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

You know, your blood vessels, see blood pressure lowers, reduces the rate your heartbeat. So you heart rate slows? The studies on it. There's billions of them. But here's the thing, and you probably found these two, particularly with the whole off again on again, is that when we're starting, our brain doesn't really want to do it. It kind of tries to talk you out of it. Yes. Do you find that?

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yes, of course. You know, and someone said to me yesterday, oh, I couldn't do meditation. My mind is so busy. And I let it go through to the keeper. But what I want to say is, well, that's the exact reason you need to do it.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah. And actually, everybody's mind is busy. Like people think that it our brain is designed to think it's a thinking machine. And it is busy. And so the idea is that again, your brain will go don't do that, because it likes to be thinking about things. Yeah, exactly.Consuming information, reading, scrolling, whatever. And then when you sit there for just however long it starts going, Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on other like this at all.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, you're not feeding me anything. And I think that's why I like guided meditation. So I have done meditation, which is just breath work. And what I found in the first instance, is that guided had helped me focus on the words. And so that really helped me because I was like, I can't sit still for longer than five minutes. And I worked up to it. Like if people say to me now how do I start, I'm like, a minute, just do a minute, see how you go, and then just do two minutes and see how you go. And eventually, we're doing 20 minutes, and they look at me like I'm a unicorn. And I'm like, trust me, it works. And I suppose they get the benefits because it lasts for quite a long time. Kind of like exercise, right? You go for a run, you feel the benefits for a few hours. I feel like that with meditation. And so I fully encourage all of my clients to do it. Because it's almost you know, when you've had a bad day and someone your mum used to say to you, things look brighter in the morning. And you say, I don't even know why. But anyway, I'm like, how about you a do meditation, it will look better? Yeah, and that seems to have worked for them. So I just have stuck with it. Because discipline is my one of my strengths, as you know, Luce, and I'm very consistent. So the first year I did it, I had an app on my phone where I had to log it. And I was like, Okay, I have to log 365 days, right. So I logged the 365 days. And I'm like, Yes. And now I don't have to do that. I don't feel compelled to do that. But it just created that beautiful habit. And it was worked well in COVID as well. So there was a bit of extra stress around.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

But you know what I love about that thing that you just said about logging it on an app is it's you getting accountability. You're getting accountability to yourself, but your using an app to demonstrate to yourself and get that feedback, yes, I've done it. Yes, yes, yes. And then you were your own cheer squad about it.

 

Emma McQueeen 

I know. I'm a pretty good cheer squad to others. And I think I'm a pretty good cheer squad to myself do sometimes.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

I think you are and I think that and we all could be like, it's so wonderful, isn't it?

 

Emma McQueeen 

Totally. It's much better than beating yourself up. No one wants to beat themselves up.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Totally? No, I don't think anyone wants to do but they do. And I think it's interesting. We often talk about why do we do it? And we do it because we think that it will motivate us somehow, that if we say to ourselves, ah, you're freaking idiot, you just a moron. Next time, you're gonna do it better. We go. Yeah. And we feel that it'll but it doesn't

 

Emma McQueeen 

I know, it just, it just compounds it really. Because you know what you say out loud kind of happens, right? And so if it's telling yourself that you're that and then that kind of happens, you still do you keep doing things that the brain has said, Oh, well, you've told yourself, you're a friggin idiot. So I'm gonna make sure that that's what happens.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Absolutely. And it's funny. I love the analogy, I think often about that is that when I used to ride a bike, if there was a pothole, and you could see it, and you I don't want to go on the pothole, I'm not going in the pothole.... bang!

 

Emma McQueeen 

Totally, totally. It's like when you say to your children, so my mom and dad, so I was clumsy. And they're always like, You're so clumsy. You're so clumsy. Don't drop that glass of water, immediately smashes glass of water. You know,  you've got to reprogram your brain. So for me now, being a mum, I'm like, just probably walk that way, as opposed to don't run, you know, like, because our brain doesn't compute those don'ts. It just tells you Yeah, what it is. So I think it's so important to speak nicely to yourself and to others.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Totally. And I think it really helps then thrive it for everyone thriving. Because, you know, at the end of the day, Mary and I are alwasy talking about the end of the day, all the human wants to do is feel better. And feeling better is part of that is thriving. And doing that in a way that is helpful to you and the people around you. That's kind of like you're winning at humaneness. You're winning.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yes, it is kind of like you're winning at humaneness. And you might be impacting other people too.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And that's really what being a good human is about?

 

Emma McQueeen 

I think so. I think there's a ripple effect, right? I think when you're looking after yourself, you're then looking after others. And you know, like, it's all a big ripple effect. As we know, being a mum can be all encompassing, really kind of, and if you're not looking after yourself, who's gonna look after you - no one. So you really need to look after yourself. And that's the whole point of having some time to yourself first thing in the morning, right? No one else is gonna say you should take some time. I mean, unless you've got a unicorn partner. Yeah, you know, we've got to take responsibility for our own time ourselves.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Absolutely. And you know, when you said that you were doing your meditating was you didn't just kind of say, I'm going to do it. And we should, you know, hope it happens that you were really intentional. Well, this is, this is when I'm going to do it. And this is how I'm going to do it. And this is for how long? I'm going to do it. So you know, that whole bit of a SMART goal acronym in there, and therefore it happened.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, because I think you've got to, if you're going to create a habit doesn't just happen, like down to the cup of tea, that the actual tea cup that I was using every morning, you know, like in my brain, I went, here's what time I'm gonna get out of bed. Here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'm going to do next. I almost stepped off the habits to get me sitting on that couch with a dog in my lap and a cup of tea. And I think when you're starting something new, you have to do that. It has to be that scripted. Otherwise, it just doesn't happen. Like we just leave stuff to chance. Yeah,

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

I'm sure there's some fancy saying that I can't quite remember about a wish without a plan is just a wish or something like that. Or a goal without a plan is just a wish. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So you've actually got a book Em, tell us a bit about your book.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, I do and you know what else, It's just been released on Audible.  Oh, my goodness, you can get me in your ears if you really want.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Beautiful, beautiful. So tell us about your book? I'll let you talk about it. And then I'll go I would love to hear what you say. The book is about go getters. And I probably I probably would describe myself as a go getter. It gives lots of practical advice on it. And I know that you are really passionate about habits and forming habits and those sorts of things as well. So I'd love you to tell us about your book.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Beautiful. Well, my book is called Go Getter, amazingly, and it's about raising your mojo and thriving. And it's about the 12 myths women especially tell ourselves and that basically their BS And it talks about the 12 truths that we need to replace them with. So, you know, it talks about I don't have enough time. And so it talks about actually, what does that mean, if you don't have enough time, it talks about listening to your inner critic and choosing the voice that you listen to. And it's been amazing because it's made up of stories of women that I've coached across the years, and also haa their case studies and their struggles. And I went out and did some research on it, and bits and pieces. And it's written by a woman, for women who understand the juggle of just being a woman, you know, we've got aging parents, we've got little kids, we might have bigger kids, we might run a business, we might be in a leadership role in our organization. But there's always something for someone that it resonates with. And at the end of each chapters, we do something called keep, stop, start. Which is just a bit of a reflection exercise where you go, Okay, well, what's working? What do I need to keep doing? And what's not working? What do I need to ditch or stop doing? And what do I need to start doing? And I have to say that for the last probably two years, the keep doing for me, it's just meditation. Because don't fix what ain't broken, you know. And we don't stop enough things. I see it time and time again, when women put more and more things on their plate, but they don't take anything off. I don't mean their food plate, I just mean thier plate.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Well, interestingly, we talk a lot about the idea that the concept of too much on your plate is one of the triggers for gaining weight, because too much on your plate refers to stress, overwhelm. Yes, you know, and it's really interesting because stress and overwhelm increase your cortisol, which is part of weight gain. And I love language, because I love the idea that's we call it too much on your plate, we don't say are you've got too many shoes in your shoe rack, or you've got too many cars in your car park, it's literally you've got too much on your plate. And you're absolutely right, that in order to lose weight, you have to take less off your plate, but in order to reduce your stress and overwhelm you do you have to take some things or you know, boot something off.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Oh, yeah. And I see it happen in organizations as well. Right. I go into an organization they go, we've got a strategic plan, and I think, Oh my goodness. And I think, okay, I say to them, how many things are on your strategic plan? Ohh 20. Hmm okay, what did you say no to? And they're like, Oh, I might as you were thinking about your strategic plan for the next year. What did you say no to? When I always said no to nothing, I'm like, okay, so it's your strategic plan, just a dumping ground? Like, they don't really understand the significance of saying no, and making choices like you have to say no to things in order to let the good stuff in.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yes, everything you say yes to is a no to something else.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Exactly. Exactly. And I don't think people quite understand that, especially if we're people pleasers or we're perfectionists, we kind of just keep saying yes, until we get burnt out. And no one wants to be burnt out. And so really, I wrote the book to go you know what, there's a better way than feeling the juggler the struggle all the time, there's a better way to do this. And here are some truths that you probably need to hear that are a bit hard hitting. I sent it to someone and they sent me a response back in saying, this book is life changing. And I'm off. It's a bit rich, but absolutely!

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

And the thing is part of it is this programming and conditioning that women have around some of the myths, Mares and  will often call them the stories in your head. And the story in your head is that I can't do , a healthy life because I haven't got time.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, exactly. What a load of BS. I mean, if you have time to eat, you have time to do a healthy lifestyle.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah. And the thing is, it's it's about whats stealing energy.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yeah, that's right. You know, I showing my age here, but do you remember the TV show called The Jetsons? Okay, so I love the Jetsons. There's like an outerspace TV show, and they had a little boy called Elroy, I think anyway, for food. They took this pill, a tablet, which had all the nutrients and ingredients and everything that they needed to fill them up and make them feel like that eaten a good meal. I would be so happy if someone created that. For me. I've just feel like that's super efficient, especially during the day. You know, I don't want to give up food totally. But I would be nice to make the choice, but that's not going to happen. So therefore, you've got to just work out different ways to eat well.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah, absolutely. I know. And food is medicine, foods, nutrition and food can be your greatest ally or sometimes the worst enemy.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yes, I know. I know. It's such a struggle, isn't it? And I think I think that's the thing, but I think if you can use that analogy for what do you take off your plate? That's, you know, super helpful, but yes, so the book is out on Audible, and it's got a few extra stories in it now because I did it a year after it was launched. And there's quite a bit of me giggling in there because that's who I am.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Absolutely. I love it. I love it. So it's called Go Getter on Audible. Go Getter Emma McQueen. Correct. Go Getter by Emma McQueen. Yeah. Excellent. Well, that sounds brilliant because I'm totally into audible books at the moment. And well, interestingly and I know we're rambling on a bit here now. But when was that your last retreat when we did the well being wheel?  And we did that with our members this year. And one of my things that I don't do is have any fun. Well, my fun and leisure were really low, whereas work was really high. And I thought, Okay, I gotta change the balance. So actively trying to have some fun. And one of the ways in which I was doing that is I realized that I was just all of my books I was reading were like learning books, yes, development and not reading anything for pleasure. So I will definitely be downloading your book, although I have a couple of just fun books to read first.

 

Emma McQueeen 

Oh, nice. And also, sometimes it's good to highlight the book to do you know, a great book that I read. That's totally off track. But anyway, over Christmas over summer holidays, I listened to Green Lights by Matthew McConaughey, hours Matthew's voice was just Yeah, because he narrates it. And it was such a good read and not anything to work related. It was great. Anyway, I would highly recommend that, even though I really liked together.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Well, it's all about balance.

 

Emma McQueeen 

It's all about balance. How else are you getting fun into your life? I'm curious now.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

So I've started a lot more brighter clothes. So I don't buy any black stuff anymore. All of my clothes now at bright. Yes, my fancy tea is part of the fun. So making sure that I don't drink out a chipped tea cups or chipped mugs anymore, has to be fancy. I've started singing. Yeah, no one wants to hear because I actually cannot sing that. I like to belt out a tune. Which is really makes you feel good. And it's fun.  I am knitting. Part of my knitting at the moment is so I just some crocheted hearts, which we send to doctors as part of a caring sort of message that love Yeah, yeah. So it's, it is lovely. But there's sort of a purpose behind it. Trying to do some purposeless activities.

 

Emma McQueeen 

That's like me and roller skating. It's purposeless, but it's fun.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just Yes. Doing something just for the fun of it.

 

 

Or you need to follow along because my word for the year is playful.Like, I'm just gonna play and be fun and it can be lighten doesn't have to be heavy, and it's gonna be easy, breezy, and I'm gonna love it.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

Beautiful. So people should be looking then at your socials because I know you've got some fun photos coming up.. So can you just remind us of your where people can find you?

 

Emma McQueeen 

Yes. Well, on Instagram, Emma R McQueen looked for the pink. And on everything else. I'm just Emma McQueen. So connect with me and tell us your story. Tell us what you think about our little chat today. Tell me if I've converted you to meditation.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

That's what I want to know. And I think for those of you, I mean hasn't Em got a great name, McQueen. We've talked a lot about that in thriving women. And so we always call her the queen. And in fact, her podcast is called Tea with the Queen, which of course features a teacup. So it's all wonderful.  And thanks so much for your chat today. It has been delightful Of course. And I think our listeners will have gained some wonderful wisdom. I would highly encourage them to have a look at your go get a book and to start meditating. Start with the minute a day. If the queen can do it. Anyone can do it.

 

Emma McQueeen 

The Queen could do it. Anyone could do it. I wonder if the Queen does really?

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

I don't know. Alright, lovelies, have a wonderful, wonderful week, and I'll see you next week. Bye for now. So are my lovely listeners that ends this episode of real health and weight loss. I'm Dr. Lucy Burns,

 

Dr Mary Barson 

And I'm Dr. Mary Barson where from real life medicine. To contact us, please visit our rlmedicine.com.

 

Dr Lucy Burns 

And until next time, thanks for listening. The information shared on the real health and weight loss podcast, including show notes and links provides general information only. It is not a substitute, nor is it intended to provide individualized medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, nor can it be construed as such. Please consult your doctor for any medical concerns.